He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
