OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
