Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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