He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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