After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
did i walk over a car last night?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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