i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
