i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
