I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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