a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
