She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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