Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
