i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
