No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
