but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
