So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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