just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
