the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
