why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
