I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Michael Bay diarrhea
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
