im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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