I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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