Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Randomize
