I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
