Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
