last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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