trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
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