so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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