no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
