I hate all girls vehemently.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
