I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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