we're chasing vodka with high fives
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
