I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
