Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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