I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I'm bleeding and have questions
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
