There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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