you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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