What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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