Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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