she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
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