I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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