My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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