Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
