Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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