I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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