You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
