I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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