he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize