Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
