hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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