It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
where does the pee come out of this thing
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
