That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
