I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
