I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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