So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
