I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
This is my gift to your gina
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
