Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
