If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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